In Vengeance Will Come I had a scene where the villain had to enter an unknown building. It played out like you’ve seen a million times before: fortunately there is a lone sentry whose role and position scream “please ambush me”…
In addition to being unforgivably cliché I also made the sentry a cliché. Think the exact opposite of Stephen Hawking – a muscle bound fool who has only one neuron firing at a time.
By making the bit-character dumb I was trying to introduce some humor through the dialogue. The humor was questionably funny but the unpleasant stench of the cliché was undeniable.
Not only that, but the henchman didn’t fit the role description. He was the henchman of a wealthy, intelligent and powerful individual. An employer like that doesn’t hire a dunce and especially doesn’t give him any kind of important security job.
Somehow I have to rewrite the scene to eradicate the clichés.