The Ignition of Revision (1)

What was it that caused me so quickly to begin a revision of Vengeance Will Come, when it had literally been the farthest thought from my mind?

In the months since putting the manuscript in the mail, I’ve been mulling over how I wrote it. One problematic issue has risen to the surface of my consciousness like foul oil sitting on the top of clean water. The frequent point-of-view (POV) swapping and I’m now convinced it’s a problem.

While some POVs lasted for an entire chapter, there were many, many more far shorter. Someone wise once coined the phrase, ‘a picture tells a thousand words’, obviously that person has never played Pictionary on my team… My lack of drawing skills aside, here’s a picture to demonstrate. (All the yellow highlights are scene changes).

VWC POV changes.PNG

(Wow, even though I knew it was a problem… this display makes it clearer – and me dizzy).

At the time of writing, I thought that the rapid POV/scene changes added to the speed of the novel… but I’ve gradually decided that too many rapid POV-shifts disorient to the reader. Possibly also, my constant POV changes hinted at a weakness in my writing. I believe it’s easier to head-jump than describe the same thing through one character’s brain.

Recognising this flaw, the main change I am going to be doing through revision is cutting down on the number of scenes and POV changes. Small POVs will either be discarded or made meatier.

Do you agree – does frequent and short POVs confuse or annoy you as a reader?

(Next writing-related blog post, I’ll show you the first ‘real’ scene of chapter 1 and explain why it’s now lying on the cutting room floor).

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Holding Hands

Recently the beautiful Mrs Ezard and I attended a 1 day marriage workshop by Canadian author and popular blogger, Sheila Wray-Gregoire and her hilarious husband Keith. We attend such courses not because something is wrong in our marriage but so that nothing goes wrong. Consider it preventative maintenance on the most important investment in our lives.

It was a great day, filled with honesty, a lot of humour and some helpful tips for improving your marriage.

otters-holding-handsSheila explained that drifting apart from each other is a natural phenomenon. You don’t need to do anything to drift, but you do need to take action to prevent the drift. Otherwise it will happen. She mentioned how otters (who sleep on their back in the water) hold hands to prevent drifting apart. Couples likewise need to find ways to metaphorically “hold hands”.

She encouraged us to write a list of things that we would appreciate and share them with our spouse. (The rules were: a) non-sexual b) 2-3 minutes time investment c) low-or-no cost). Everyone, no matter how busy life is, should be able to do at least two per-day for their spouse, and thus, show love and consideration.

As everyone knows, sometimes there can be hard conversations in marriage. Really hard conversations. One way she suggested you could broach those conversations was to ask each other “where do we want to be in five years time?” That question, can help tease out some of the things you’d like to change, without it being quite so confrontational. Not to mention, it’s a good question to be asking yourselves… and then planning the actions steps you need to take to get there).

Marriage should be treated like a marathon, not a sprint… make it last 🙂

Well, I didn’t see that coming…

Just a week ago I wrote that I didn’t want to spend any longer on my novel Vengeance Will Come. As I discussed, it had been sitting idle for months.

And then I began to read it…

…and I fell in love with it all over again (if I can use the term loosely).

But the months of “resting time” (as they say in cookbooks) has made me aware of some of it’s flaws…

So now I’m going to start do (another) final revision of it. And this one – I promise – will be the last revision that I will initiate. (You may have noticed that I left enough room in that statement for a parade to pass through…). A final revision and then I plan on releasing *somehow* as an e-book.

I may be late to the party but I have started to use Scrivener, and although it isn’t entirely intuitive to me, I am starting to like it. I am very appreciative of the generous try-before-you-buy program of 30-days of actual use. Sure, it doesn’t have everything I would want but it’s a pretty good product. I’m 99% sure I’ll be a customer before the end of my trial period. I’m also keen to try out their mind-mapping product Scrapple.

Highlights from ‘The Dragon Reborn’

My highlights from book 3 of The Wheel of Time series, ‘The Dragon Reborn’:

It was not that he seemed merely capable of violence and death; this man had tamed violence and death and kept them in his pocket, ready to be loosed in a heartbeat, or embraced, should Moiraine give the word. (page 47)

This is a wonderful description of violent potential. It has been tamed and kept in his pocket. It speaks of complete mastery. Violence wasn’t something to be feared in the slightest, but ever-ready on his person.

“‘The blood of the Dragon Reborn on the rocks of Shayol Ghul will free mankind from the Shadow.’ (page 70)

The Wheel of Time, with it’s philosophies of rebirth and destiny is full of prophecy. It sets up a deep world and lays out mountains of coming-lore which must be weaved into the future volumes. (Notice too, how it’s vague. It gives us a location, but nothing more = a promise easily kept).

“Men always seem to refuse to admit they are sick until they’re sick enough to make twice as much work for women. Then they claim they’re well too soon, with the same result.” (page 205)

I swear I’ve never complained during man-flu. (Just don’t tell my wife I said that… Also, best not to ask my family or work colleagues either).

Only one who can channel can be turned in this way. The weakness of our strength. (page 230)

To give it context: only those who can use magic can be made (against their will) to serve evil. It’s a law for good magic systems. Those who have powers must always have weaknesses, and it should be in balance. A great power must come with a great weakness. Otherwise the world is unbalanced.

The pin was the smallest part of a pair of scissors, and the easiest made, but without it, the scissors cut no cloth. (page 380)

It’s little insights like this which I find to be rich little parables or observations. Note also it’s Perrin (the blacksmith) making the observation. No doubt he may have constructed scissors, and so he has an appreciation which explains his knowledge.

For the young, death is an enemy they wish to try their strength against. For those of us a little older, she is an old friend, an old lover, but one we are not eager to meet again soon.” (page 418)

(I obviously just liked it. I can’t say why now).

For a heartbeat that took centuries he hung, wavering, balanced on the brink of being scoured away like sand before a flash flood. (page 604)

This I like because it explains that in reality it took next to no time, but for him it felt as through it was painfully slow. Like the working week.

Vengeance Will Come

Vengeance Will Come was the title of my first fantasy adventure novel.

Back in September 2017 the first 3 chapters of the manuscript began the journey from Australia to a US publisher. The potential wait, as advertised, was up to 6 months. On the publisher’s website they stated if you hadn’t heard back within 6 months, re-submit as it may have been lost.

I say the manuscript began the journey, because I don’t know where it’s journey ended. Sadly, after waiting months I had heard nothing. I don’t know what happened to the manuscript. It could be sitting in the bottom of a postal bin a kilometre from my house for all I know. It might be gathering dust in the publisher’s basement or dropped into the ocean by a drunk deckhand on the mail ship. My preferred option is that it was intercepted by a mail-reading fiend who has enjoyed it so much they are keeping it close, like a certain Precious ring.

I just don’t know. Learn from my experience: pay whatever it costs to get a delivery confirmation. If you’re going to wait for months it’s worth paying to know it actually arrived at it’s intended destination.

The way I look at it, I have several options:

  1. Re-send it to the same publisher, and wait another 6 months
  2. Send it to another publisher
  3. Indie publish it through Kindle Direct
  4. Banish it to the “draft drawer” (never again to see the light of day)
  5. Imprison it in the “draft drawer” (one day, it might escape either as-is, or be re-written).
  6. Release it for free

Making the decision isn’t easy, and honestly I feel like a weather vane in rough weather. And I don’t like being indecisive.

Traditional Publisher. Part of the reason why I wanted to go the traditional publishing route was for vindication and gate-keeping. I don’t want to add to the torrent of books available unless the quality of my book is reasonable. I wanted the support of professionals to advise me on how to improve the book.

I wrote the book, expecting it to be the part of a series, but now I am less sure that I will write the sequels. Although the book is definitely a beginning of the story, I believe it’s also enjoyable on its own merits stand-alone. However, if I sold to a publisher I’d expect to be locked into finishing the series in short order… and I’m not sure I’d want that.

The “Draft Drawer”. It could go there, but then the hundreds (probably, thousands) of hours I spent on it feel completely wasted. And the premise of spending longer on it (later) for a re-write isn’t appealing, especially given my uncertainty over the series and objective quality.

Kindle Direct or release for free. These are the last two options. If I were to release to Kindle, I’d be doing it for a nominal sale cost ($0.99). As all authors do, I doubt the quality of my work. I suspect it has ‘first-book problems’ and I wouldn’t want to overcharge for it. For the price of $1 I think readers should be more forgiving. I’d be going through Amazon for the chance of reaching a broader audience, not for the small amount of revenue it would generate.

If I released it for free, I have no sense of guilt about questions of quality, and it feels like less work to do it… but then would anyone actually read it???

Any suggestions?

Relationships

Sometimes relationships complicate things.

That’s how I look at it anyway, in my very male problem-oriented perspective. If it wasn’t for relationship considerations I could solve some problems a lot easier by being direct – and less mindful of not hurting feelings.

I was born with the male ability to switch off outside considerations and be brutally objective, blunt as a brick. Complete the mission, regardless of the cost. (On occasion those same qualities could accurately be described as foolish and ignorant).

But I’m glad that’s not where my thinking ends. A little more time, and I realise the relationship is of too much value to cast it aside or allow it to be collateral damage.

The key is to find the solution to problem working in relationship, if at all possible.

Highlights from ‘The Great Hunt’

I’m currently enjoying a reading binge, getting through all of The Wheel of Time Series for the first time. Several times I have read the earlier volumes, but I never completed the story.

I thoroughly analysed the first few chapters of book 1, so I’m jumping straight to book 2 to show you my highlights and associated thoughts. It seems I didn’t highlight much, I must have been too caught up in the story. I’ll bold the highlight, but in some cases I’ve taken surrounding text to add context.

He balanced the sword in front of him on scabbard point; it looked no different than it had before he knew. “Aes Sedai work.” But Tam gave it to me. My father gave it to me. He refused to think of how a Two Rivers shepherd had come by a heron-mark blade. There were dangerous currents in such thoughts, deeps he did not want to explore.

I liked this sentence because I can relate to it, as most could. We all have thoughts which drag us beyond the realms of safe thought. We know there are creepy-crawlies under the rock… and so we choose not to confirm our suspicions.

No two wore the same kind of armor or carried the same sort of sword, and none looked like Lan, but Rand did not doubt they were Warders. Round faces, square faces, long faces, narrow faces, they all had the look, as if they saw things other men did not see, heard things other men did not hear. Standing at their ease, they looked as deadly as a pack of wolves.

A brilliant description of dangerous men. Those who could anticipate and see threat and foe before others. The reference to wolves is an oft quote, but apt. No one I know would willingly pat a wolf.

“I am not staying here,” Mat told the rafters, “with a bigmouthed Ogier and a fool whose head is too big for a hat. You coming, Perrin?” Perrin sighed, and glanced at Rand, then nodded. Rand watched them go with a stick caught in his throat.

Two good expressions which are similar to “big head” and “lump in the throat”, but twisted slightly to be a broad step away from cliche.

“My mother,” she said firmly, “always told me the best way to learn to deal with a man was to learn to ride a mule. She said they have about equal brains most of the time. Sometimes the mule is smarter.”

This is just clever.

“… There is one rule, above all others, for being a man. Whatever comes, face it on your feet. …”

A man must seek duty, not glory.

These resonate with my manhood. Yes, it is a bit of literary license. At times life will kick us off our feet, but a man gets back up as quick as possible, sometimes with the help of another.

“I said listen, sheepherder,” the Warder growled. “There will come a time when you must achieve a goal at all costs. It may come in attack or in defense. And the only way will be to allow the sword to be sheathed in your own body.”

A prophetic comment for the story narrative.

“Man and woman, hard. I’ve fought them, and I know. They will run fifty miles, and fight a battle at the end of it. They’re death walking, with any weapon or none. Except a sword. They will not touch a sword, for some reason. Or ride a horse, not that they need to. If you have a sword, and the Aielman has his bare hands, it is an even fight. If you’re good. …

Some great world-building. Reading this makes me want to meet an Aielman or woman. On friendly-terms of course.

Women often seemed to leave things unsaid, and in his limited experience it was what they did not say that proved the most trouble.

No comment, on the grounds it might incriminate me.

People see what they expect to see. Beyond that, look them in the eye and speak firmly. …”

So true.

Someday, I am sure, you will serve a cause, and you will learn then that to serve it you must work even with those whom you dislike. I tell you I have worked with many with whom I would not share a room if it were left to me alone.

Oh, again. I’ve worked with some people like that, and I’m sure you have too. (And some of those I worked with probably thought the same of me). I’ve also sat next to some on a plane, and next to some in a shopping queue. Trolls might be only on the Internet, but strange ones walk the streets with you and I.

Feeling worse than useless, she picked up her skirts and ran, and Egwene’s screams pursued her.

This is my final highlight for the book, and it’s a goody. I like the imagery of fleeing and being pursued by the screams of a loved one. Chilling, but good imagery.